Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
