i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
