Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
