i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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