I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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