My friends, they love my intelligence
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
