You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
one two three fourrrrnication!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
