Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
