Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
