her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
