Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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