Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
