youre lurking in front of me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
