She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
