Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
