Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
