All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
