Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
