Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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