do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
