Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
