I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
