i may or may not be watching the land before time
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
