i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
