That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
