do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
