I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
