He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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