Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
