everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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