Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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