I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
