I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
