Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
MIDGETS
????
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
