i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
