Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?

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(407): View more from Florida

How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.

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(302): View more from Delaware

He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.

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(801): View more from Utah

I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Less talking, more tequila

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(851): View more from

Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

(522): View more from

Don't break up.

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(912): View more from Georgia

But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.

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(425): View more from Washington

I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.

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