Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
