Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
