Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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