Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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