How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
