...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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