Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
