first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
