Bisexual people are plain selfish.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
