literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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