You're my little dorito
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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