Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
