I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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