He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
