thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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